Monday, January 4, 2016


Okay guys, I am going to blow your minds with this. It will change the very world as we know it. There is a connection between these three universes, and it all begins in Budapest.

There is an undeniable chemistry between Black Widow and Hawkeye. Hell, you can find all types of fanart on the Internet. However, we never find out what happened in Budapest. Well, I am about to shatter your conception of reality... BLACK WIDOW WAS PREGNANT WITH THEIR CHILD!

I know. I know. Take a breather.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. SOME of you saw Age of Ultron  and are saying "wait, isn't Black Widow infertile? They had that whole flashback trauma scene where is basically said she can't have babies." Yes listener, that is what Black Widow thinks what happened. But you forget there are tools available to erase and change one's memory.

If Hydra can brainwash a SHIELD agent and there are superpowered beings that can alter your memory, then it's fair to say that Black Widow's memory has been altered.

Here's what happened: Black Widow is pregnant with Hawkeye's child. It is not safe for two super spies to have a child, especially with Hydra out there. Black Widow and Hawkeye go into hiding in a farmhouse. Hawkeye is a given a SHIELD agent disguised as a farmer's wife and her kids to provide them with extra protection. After the child is born, Black Widow's memory is altered to forget about her child and her ability to have children is removed THEN, not when she first became a spy. Hawkeye then, under SHIELD orders, keeps up the charade that he and the SHIELD agent disguised as a farmer is his wife and those are his kids to prevent he and Black Widow from every becoming close.


But part of it remains there. She refers to herself as a monster for being robbed of an option to become a parent should she desire it. Is this her possibly getting some memories back of the child that was taken away from her? We may never know.

What happened to the child? Well, SHIELD knew there was no where in the universe the child could be sent, what with all those Guardians of the Galaxy and what they are fighting. So, instead of sending the child somewhere, they sent the child SOMEWHEN. Specifically, to Medieval Scotland, to a King and Queen morning the loss of their own daughter in childbirth.

What could've been this:

Became this:

Merida's parents kept her origins a secret, even from Merida, because then they would lose their ability to use her to marry off and keep the clans together. Almost no one knew that Eli
nor and Angus' original daughter died in childbirth, and besides, as far as the King and Queen knew, the baby girl was left on the castle stairs after their own child had died. She was a gift from the Wisps as far as they were concerned. Merida inherited her mother's red hair and her father's talent in archery, never knowing that her parents were super spies in the far future.

Now, I know that you're thinking "but wait, where is the connection to Harry Potter? That's the only reason I came here." I'm getting there, dear reader.  It takes time to reveal the truth of the universe.

The International Statute of Secrecy was enacted in Wizarding Law in 1692. While I could not find any specifics on when the sequences of Brave  took place, what is generally considered "Medieval Scotland" went into the 1500s, so it was well before the statute was instituted. We know that Merida senses magic and can see it. She follows the Wisps...

Talks with a witch...

And accidentally turns her mother into a bear because the witch, like Gilderoy Lockhart, is only skilled in one particular type of magic.

So, after turning her mother back and bringing feminism to Medieval Scotland, what happened Merida? Well, I imagine she was practicing her archery when an out of towner appeared...

The visitor would introduce himself as "Billius Weasley, from London." The two would become great friends, fishing and horse back riding. Because this was before the statute was instated, he even revealed that he was a wizard and showed her the various spells he could cast.

Eventually, Merida asked her parents if she could move to London with Billius. Her parents, though worried, wanted her to be happy and knew she technically didn't have a claim on a throne anyway because she was not biologically their daughter. Merida and Billius moved to London and lived happily ever after... and from that point on, all the Weasleys had flaming red hair.

But wait? The Weasleys are pure-bloods. Merida's a muggle. This doesn't work.

Au contraire, my friend. Let us quote out good friend, Albus Dumbledore:

"So-called pure-blood families mantain their alleged purity by disowning, banishing, or lying about Muggles or Muggle-borns on their family trees. Then they attempt to foist their hypocrisy upon the rest of us by asking us to ban works dealing with the truths they deny. There is not a witch or wizard in existence whose blood has not mingled with that of Muggles..."

Even Ron says that there are Muggles in his family tree, stating that he has a second cousin who works "as an accountant or something."

My friends, I have provided PROOF AND EVIDENCE to support my claim. That Merida is not only the daughter of Black Widow and Hawkeye, but that she is an ancestor of the Weasleys. Thus, the Weasley family is not only techinically Scottish royalty, but they are also related to the best super spies that SHEILD has ever scene. I rest my case.

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